Well, that was scary.

You know when you’re really tired, and you have a busy day ahead, and you’ve been lying in bed for hours but you just can’t switch off and go to sleep? Well, it’s 4 am and I’m still awake…

I’ve finished the Sharpe novel I was reading. I’ve thought a lot about my new haircut.  I’ve started worrying about what this week holds for me. I went temporarily blind. I tried humming a lullaby to myself.

‘Wait, what was that?’ I hear you cry, ‘You went temporarily blind?’. Why yes, concerned internets, I did. It freaked the hell out of me, which is why I am online again… I have just spent the last 15 minutes googling ‘temporary blindness in one eye at night’. Advice people; never google any symptom you might have, including sneezing or a sore knee. They always diagnose the big C.

I was finally beginning to doze off when I suddenly became aware that I could barely see out of my right eye. It was like I was wearing an opaque black contact lens. I covered it over, and I could see perfectly out of my left eye. I started panicking, as you do at 3.30 am and you are suddenly visually impaired without any alcohol in your bloodstream. Switching the bedroom light on, my vision sort of returned, but everything was still definitely darker through my right eye. It’s like when you’re wearing sunglasses that make you look tanned, and when you take them off you realise just how pale you actually are. My right eye seemed to be wearing a sun-monocle.

Turning the light off again, my freaky right eye blacked out again. Oh mama, that was scary. In fact, I did want to ring my Mamma, but wailing ‘I can’t seeeeeee!’ down the phone to my sleeping mother, causing worry and upset at stupid o’clock would not have been constructive at all. After rubbing my eye for a while, staring at my iris in the mirror for a good few minutes, and pretty much begging God and google  to not let this last very long nor be anything serious, the dark lens effect (Oh I do like the term ‘sun-monocle’…) faded into blotches and then disappeared. I can see! Hurrah!

I have decided to blame it on tiredness and stress. Body, this is not cool- send me a mouth ulcer or a coldsore next time. I’ll take you seriously, I promise. I do not ever want to experience loss of vision again.

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