Connections. And little Annabel.

Let me begin by saying, this post means something to me… and it may not mean anything to you.  But I had to write these feelings down, and get them out there. It’s cathartic. And, ironically enough, I’m writing about a moment of catharsis that happened to me yesterday. You can think I’m weird after reading this if you want. Go ahead… you might be right :)

It’s funny how reading other people’s blogs can make you feel like you know them in real life. Most of my friends and family aren’t too familiar with the blogging world, and so it’s hard to explain to them who it is I’m talking about. I refer to the bloggers as ‘that guy whose blog I read’, or in Dooce’s case, ‘that funny American lady with the crazy dogs, remember I told you about her? The one with the hilarious daughter’.

In some cases, even if I’ve only had the tiniest amount of correspondence with the writer, I will call that person ‘my friend’. These are the people who make me laugh out loud, and can make me cry actual tears. The people whose lives I read, and who I feel genuine warmth and concern for.

Last night, I came home and switched on my computer to find that, thousands of miles away, to parents I have never met, a baby had been born. A sweet baby girl. A sister to another precious girl who came, and left, before her. I sat and cried for about half an hour. Real, wet, salty tears that I just couldn’t stop. I had just been through a very stressful evening, so perhaps the tears were a form of catharsis. But I can tell you, the joy and sadness I felt were completely real.

I am so happy that Heather, ‘my friend’, and her husband Mike have a warm little baby to hold in their arms again. Arms that, Heather has said, have felt empty since Madeline Alice passed away.

I am so sad that Maddie will never get to play with Annabel Violet, or kiss her, or tickle her. But some things just can’t be changed, and I am grateful, so grateful that the Spohr family have been blessed with Annabel. I am so grateful that Heather lets us, the internet strangers, into her life and that she lets us love her daughters as much as we do.

This may seem voyeuristic to some of you who aren’t involved in the world of personal blogs. I’m afraid I don’t have the energy to explain it to you right now. But, let me assure you… it’s not voyeuristic. It’s something quite special, and in se ways quite new and revolutionary in terms of communication, creativity, and friendship.

If you’re interested at all in Heather and her family after reading this post, let me direct you to her blog, and also to the button on the right hand side of this page, a photo of little Maddie that will redirect you to the charity started in her name.

Welcome to the world, Annabel. You have an awesome family, and a most impressive readership for a one-day-old.


5 thoughts on “Connections. And little Annabel.

  1. Jennie says:

    She is gorgeous, isn’t she? I know exactly what you mean. I feel like I’ve made real friendships through blogging, and I feel privileged to have been able to share people’s lives with them. My husband (I think) think’s I’m crazy to feel so much emotion over people I’ve never met. I know it’s hard for non bloggers to understand that I’ve been hoping and praying for Annabel to be born safely, Anissa to get better, etc etc, but there’s a big enough community of us who do understand now, so I’ll stick with that!

    • Sarah says:

      Oh she is a little beauty, indeed.
      I think my family and boyfriend all think it’s a little odd, but I’ll just let them think I’m eccentric. I know (as you say) that there are enough of us out there to make me comfortable in caring about these people! IT’s one reason I refer to these people as my friends- it’s easier for non-bloggers to understand :P
      And I’m totally with you on Anissa as well. She’s a trooper.

  2. Katherine says:

    I’m now following that blog, and I’ll recommend this one: – it’s about a couple who’ve lost 3 children, 2 were miscarriages and James died when he was about 1 and a half. I’ve been following their blog since she became pregnant again and this time their baby Valor is so healthy and everytime I read their blog I cry. I don’t think you’re silly, just human >.<

  3. Sarah P says:

    Just learned of that blog last week, the day Annabel was born.

    I basically spent five days sobbing reading all the old posts.

    So thrilled Annabel has come into the world.

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