I just got back to Leeds.
The house is not bad to come back to, thanks to the massive clean-up we did before I left for the holidays. My Christmas tree is still standing- I tell you, it’s a keeper.
I did, however, make one rather huge mistake when I left the house in December. I presumed that my flatmates had removed their food from the fridge. I knew I had; in fact, I’d spent the previous two days eating the stuff from my shelf- if you want a meal and all you have is half a sausage and a pepper of uncertain freshness, take it to a student. They’ll make something mostly edible. Without thinking I flipped the switch off at the wall and left.
ONE MONTH LATER.
The inside of the fridge is dark green and blue and covered in tufts of fur. Inhaling ever so slightly on opening the fridge door was enough to send me running into the icy streets for fresh air, and, I kid you not, I retched for about 10 minutes. I couldn’t breathe. Admittedly, I do have a bit of an issue (or near-phobia) of rotting food or mould. It all stems from an incident at the age of 12 with a boy called Roland and a schoolbag full of squashed banana. I feel sick just typing that.
This being the start of a new term, however, I am resolved to see the positive side of this. I am allergic to the wondrous antibiotic penicillin. Now, hear me out…
Maybe, I have successfully recreated the discovery of penicillin. It’s possible that the fridge is now FULL of penicillin. Perhaps some remnants of penicillin will cling to our fridge walls even after we’ve scrubbed the whole thing clean, and permeate all our food from now on. And then maybe I will build up my ability to take penicillin and will no longer have to take the more side-effect prone antibiotics when I get a chest infection (which is a regular occurance). Is it obvious I’m not a science student?
Who am I kidding? I have filled the fridge with decay and disease, and Frances and I are probably about to drop dead from inhaling the spores.
I’ve decided that this post does qualify for this blog, even though I’ve probably just created a disease that will destroy mankind, because it’s quite funny really.